If you were to live every day for the next five years like you lived yesterday, who would you be in five years? That simple question is the whole idea behind something called a rule of life. I know that’s probably not the most inviting phrase. And yet a rule of life has been deeply meaningful for me, and for many of the people I’ve helped develop their own.
The idea was formalized about 1,500 years ago in the Rule of St. Benedict, which described the common way of life for the monks in a monastery. The word actually carries some life-giving, organic imagery. It shares origins with what we’d call a trellis today: a structure that helps a vine grow upward so it can flourish and bear the most fruit. A rule of life is a clearly defined set of practices and habits that help you grow toward the most flourishing version of yourself. It’s meant to be specific, but not rigid. And you don’t need to be a monk, or come from any particular faith background, for it to be useful. The reality is you already have a rule of life. The way you spent your time this past week is shaping you and forming you. The question is whether you’ll be intentional about it.
So start by imagining what you’d like your life to look like in five years: your relationships, your emotional awareness, your physical health, your vocational dreams. Then ask what small steps would form you into that person, and break them down into rhythms: daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal. If you want a good relationship with your kids when they’re teenagers, maybe that means an evening a week with each of them now. I always encourage taking at least half a day each month to review how it’s going and where you haven’t been realistic. If you’d like some help putting your own rule of life into words, I have a free email course, Building Healthy Rhythms, that walks you through it, one set of rhythms at a time.